Shopping in Korea: A Contact Sport

I hate, HATE, H-A-T-E shopping in Korea. It's most definitely an exercise in futility and I usually end up giving up before I actually get what I need.

In shopping for clothing, there is the most blatant concept of nothing fitting me. I can usually find shirts, but I don't even try to find pants or bottoms of any kind that will fit my extra-long length. I'm 5'11" or 180 cm; I'm much taller than most Korean women. I pretty much don't shop for clothing in this country.

There is also the joy of grocery shopping in Korea. When I lived in Dangjin, I despised when I would run out of necessary foods and I would try to piece together a meal with whatever I had left in my apartment, because I just did not want to deal with the circus of being a foreigner shopping for food.

The grocery store I would frequent in Dangjin was pretty large, but I was still stared at and followed. I wish I could say I'm used to being stared at by now considering I've been in Korea for over a year, but I'm not. I wish that was different, but I'm still not comfortable with being stared at. It doesn't bother me when children stare at me, but when full-grown adults stare at me I want to smack the teeth out of their head.

I usually try to ignore it, but as of late I just stare back and most of them feel uncomfortable and awkwardly look away until they think I'm not staring at them anymore. Then when they think it's safe to stare at me again they look back at me and realize I'm still staring at them. This continues for quite awhile. It's been a fun little game for me, especially on the bus. I often wonder if the people who've been staring at me and hurriedly exit the bus are getting off at their actual stop or are just trying to get away from me because I won't stop staring at them. I'd like to think I've cured them from staring at other foreigners they encounter. It's wishful thinking, I know, but I'd like to think I've made a difference.

When I would be shopping in Dangjin, the store clerks would follow me around the store. They would pretend to straighten the shelves, but interestingly enough the only products that needed straightening were those that were closest to me. Coincidence? I wasn't sure if they thought I was going to try to steal something because I was a shady foreigner or if they were trying to be super duper helpful. Also, when I would be in the store for a few minutes I would notice the music on the store's loud speakers would change to English music. I even heard Michael Franti a couple times! I can't imagine they would play English-language music just for one foreigner, but I did notice the change quite a few times. I really appreciated hearing Michael Franti , or another American musician I knew, but it definitely wasn't necessary.

I was told from a friend about a foreign teacher that came to the Dangjin area a few years ago, she was one of the first foreign English teachers in the area. When she went grocery shopping she would have clerks and shoppers alike follow her around the store and look in her cart to see what she was buying. Within a couple weeks of her arriving in town, she began to notice signs under all the products she normally purchased. She asked her co-teacher what the signs said and she was told the signs said, "The foreigner buys this." She came unglued and threw a fit that there were signs at the grocery store broadcasting what she was buying.

I absolutely hate shopping in department stores. It's the custom in Korea to immediately greet a shopper and latch onto their side and follow them throughout the department. Obviously there is a language barrier, which makes communicating difficult but sales associates continue to follow you around and shove things in your face telling you to buy them. It's really overwhelming to be followed around incessantly and have things shoved in your face repeatedly. I would much rather prefer to be left alone and be allowed to find things on my own. If I need help, I will come to you kind and helpful sales person. It makes shopping a suffocating and claustrophic experience and needless to say, I don't spend much time in Korea shopping.

Skinship

Koreans are very affectionate people.
Obviously the young children hug and hold hands, but adults are very affectionate, too. It reminds me of being on the playground when I was a young girl in elementary school and holding hands with my girlfriends.
At what age does this stop? I don't remember. But in Korea it doesn't really stop. I will walk down the street and see men arm-in-arm or with their arms draped over another's shoulders.
They have a word here, "Skinship." It means the relationship one builds when affection is shown between people. My friends' hogwan directors said "Skinship" is very important in building trusting relationships with children. If a foreign teacher hugs, tickles or strokes a childs hair often, then that child will be more trusting, loving and affectionate in return. It's a very important aspect of Korean culture.
On the flip-side of that is the adversely opposite way Korean men and women view affection between the sexes once they've reached a certain age. I consider myself a very affectionate person, I always hug and touch my friends, both male and female. Koreans see this as a problem. Koreans don't believe men and women can just be friends, there must be a romantic relationship if men and women touch in any way. I have many male friends and I'm constantly asked if the men in my pictures or my male friends in Korea are my boyfriend. I try to explain that in the Western cultures it's very common for men and women to be just friends. This is a concept Koreans don't understand.
I've explained this particular cultural difference until I was blue in the face and it's like communicating with a brick wall. It's just something Korean people can't fathom.
I hugged my male adult students on their last day at the Foreign Language Institute and I could tell that many of them were very uncomfortable with the idea of hugging a female, especially a teacher, but some were much more comfortable with it and gave me bear hugs.
I've seen my adult male students, who are "tough military men," hug, lay their heads on each other's shoulders and otherwise touch often, and then when I talk to Koreans about homosexuality they say the "idea" is something that doesn't occur in Korea. I'm not saying that all men that show affection to each other are gay, but I just find it so interesting that "homosexuality does not exist" in South Korea.
A few of my foreign friends here in Korea are gay and one of the Korean teachers at one of the schools knows one of the foreign teachers is gay. The Korean teacher said he felt so bad for the foreign teacher because "their are no gay people in Korea and he must be so lonely." We made sure to inform the Korean teacher (after we stopped laughing) that this foreign teacher got much more play than most of us in Korea and there are MOST DEFINITELY gay Korean people in Korea. Just because the culture as a whole refuses to acknowledge homosexuality, doesn't mean it doesn't exist and thrive.

Balance

I started my new job in Korea approximately 5 weeks ago and I can't get over how incredibly different my experiences have been the second time around.
I guess one must experience the bad in order to appreciate the good.
My new job rocks. I work with adults who are already pretty good at English, so we just get to chat all day basically. I don't start work until 10:20 a.m. and I have a lunch break for 1 1/2 hours and then sometimes I won't have class again until 3:30 p.m. The schedule changes every 3 months with new students. So sometimes I'll have a 1 1/2-hour lunch break and sometimes I'll have a 3 1/2-hour lunch break. I finish my day at 5:20 p.m. It's flippin' fantastic and a far cry from my schedule at She Devil's House of Hell.
My students, so far, have been pretty amazing, too. They are so entertaining and so incredibly helpful. They always want to hang out, too. My students are always asking me if I want to go to dinner with them or go the gym together. They are quite fantastic actually.
I live on base, but my apartment is huge and I have many amenities I didn't have in my last apartment, like windows. Windows are awesome! Especially when you haven't had them for a year!!! I also have a stove (!!). Koreans don't really bake so having a stove is huuuuuge! Only two of us on base have stoves, so the other three Conversational English teachers are pretty jealous. It's amazing to be able to make things again. All my friends are jealous and rightfully so.
I also have a bathtub! Granted, when I sit in the bathtub, my knees are hitting my chin, but I am not complaining. It's amazing to take a bath again. I'm also very, very, VERY thankful for my double-sized bed. I had a single bed in my last apartment and I felt like a little kid. Although I really shouldn't complain. When a few of my friends came to Korea, they weren't given beds at all and were just given blankets while their school directors pointed at the floor.
My fellow English teachers on base are my neighbors and it actually feels like I'm back in college and living in a dorm, although we have our own kitchens and bathrooms and we're definitely lacking those pesky Resident Advisors...
I was talking to a friend the other day and he said it was just so nice to see me so chilled out and happy. He said he's never really seen me like that before. Three months ago, he said, I was so stressed out and hating life, but now I'm completely different. I told him now he got to see the real me and to see me happy.
Life is pretty good. I'm excited for the future and I'm glad I made the decision to stay in Korea a little bit longer.