Polar Bear Freedom Party

This particular night happened a long time ago in Korea. It was one of my first nights in South Korea and it was epic.

I had been invited by one of the fellow Dangjinites, one I hadn't actually met yet, to a group night out at the batting cages. There were supposed to be tons of foreign teachers there from not only Dangjin, but other areas in the province, as well.

I didn't know anybody when I got to the meeting place, but everyone was really friendly and, peculiarly, they were all wearing crazy hats. Little did I know, crazy hats are a common theme. Lucky for me, one of the ladies brought some extra bunny ears so I sported those for the night.

I met up with some people I'd met the night before and attempted very poorly to hit super fast baseballs flying at my head and, of course, the consumption of alcohol also began to take place.
A group of three Korean men came over to me and the other women I was talking to and claimed that they were English teachers in one of the local schools. They attempted to impress us with their pseudo-stellar English skills and one guy kept referrring to me as "Jessica" and asking me for my number. I said, "No, my name is Erika." His response, "Ok, Jessica, number so you can come over."
He spent a ridiculous amount of time telling me that his kindergarten-age child would love me and I should come over to his apartment to talk to and play with his son.
"You come to my house, Jessica, so beautiful. Play with my son. My wife will not mind."
"Umm, it's Erika," I say.
"Ok, Jessica, come over."
"Umm, I don't think your wife would like that too much," I say.
"Ok, Jessica, you come over. My wife not home."
"Uhhh, yeah, I don't think so," I respond.
I then tried to escape and hide in the bathroom, but the freak was standing outside the bathroom waiting for me. Luckily one of my friends realized how distressed I was becoming and came to my rescue and finally the guy left, but not until he made sure I knew I was more than welcome at his home to play with his son anytime.
"Jessica, see you soon! Come over!"
There was plenty of testosterone running through the men in the group, as they were all kicking the crap out of the punching bag game, kicking soccer balls and slamming baseballs. All of us girls were enjoying lovely adult beverages.
When the boys finally got bored, we all made our way down to Saeyugi, a local hof, that eventually became named 'Old Faithful' because we always, undoubtedly ended up there.
The hof was pretty busy and then about 20-25 foreigners showed up and took over one side of the hof. More beer was flowing and the Honorable Members of the Dangjin Committee were named. The night began to turn ridiculous as more soju and maekju was consumed. The owner and staff of Saeyugi became less and less impressed with us, especially when one of the girls got on a table and then two of the guys jumped on top of her. Chairs were knocked over, bottles were broken. Good times all around for us, but not so much for the Koreans in the crowd.
There is a giant stuffed polar bear statue at the entrance of Saeyugi and as we were finally paying our bill to move on to the next stop, one of the girls in the group decided it would be a great idea to grab the bear and ran off with it. I was watching her and I knew what she was thinking and it was like the whole thing happened in slow motion. I could tell her brain was targeting the polar bear, processing what it would take to run off with it and then she put the plan into action and off she went with the polar bear out the door and down the stairs. I couldn't do anything but just stand there and awkwardly laugh.
When the rest of us had gotten down to the street she was standing there with the polar bear body in her arms and the poor polar bear's head had fallen off in the scuffle, so the poor polar bear's head was rolling around on the sidewalk. She tried to fix it by slapping the head back on and putting a giant hat on it. Yeah, didn't work, the head just kept rolling off.
The owner of the restaurant was not impressed. And a famous quote occurred following the incident that night, "Shit man, I think that polar bear gave me a rash!"
The polar bear and his head were returned to the livid restaurant owner (the polar bear actually was missing from the restaurant when we finally decided it was safe to return months later, but then finally made an appearance again with his head bolted back on) and we went on to another drinking establishment called Boobi Boobi.

Boobi Boobi in Korea refers to dancing and the way young men and women try to cop a feelski while their dancing. Basically Boobi Boobi is dirty dancing. We got a couple private tables enshrouded in curtains. More alcohol was flowing, the Korean drinking games began and became increasingly louder and a few members of the Honorable Members of the Dangjin Committee began passing out at the table. It was shaping up to be a good night and by this point it was about 5 in the morning.
I had to meet some friends, that were smart enough to go home hours ago, at the bus station at about 7 a.m. to go to Seoul. So naturally I decided around 5:30 a.m. it was probably a good idea to call it a night.

Birth Control Mumbo Jumbo

The issue of reproductive rights and women's sexuality in South Korea is a very interesting subject.

I feel like I say this on pretty much a daily basis, but Korea is such a place of contradictions. Women can buy birth control pills over-the-counter in Korea and it's ridiculously cheap; it's about $6 for a month's supply. However, buying birth control creates such a stigma and looks of complete disgust that Korean women don't purchase the very necessary and beyond-words-helpful drug.

Therefore, birth control pills are not used and the use of condoms in this country is pretty much non-existant from what I've been told. The use of DVD-bangs (movie rooms and "bang" is pronounced "bong" in Korean, although "bang" works quite well in this particular case) are widely used as a nice little home-away-from-home when kids these days go out for a quick date night while still living with mom and dad.

Consequently, the percentage of unplanned pregnancies, according to 1999 statistics, is about 25 percent.

I couldn't find any updated statistics of abortions in South Korea following 1999. According to the Truth and Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea website, as of July 8, 2009 abortion is allowed in South Korea up to 24 weeks of pregnancy only in these cases: sexual assault or incest, if there is a danger to the mother's health, if there is a hereditary disease in the family or a contagious disease, such as AIDs or hepatitis. All other abortions are illegal.

Hmmm, given these facts I would think buying birth control by a young woman or females of certain ages would be a reason to celebrate. These women would be making the conscious decision to not get knocked up and, as far as I'm concerned, that's a damn good decision. I realize the obvious: perhaps people should not be having sex? But we all know that's not ever going to happen no matter who you are or which oppresive environment you live in. If people want to get it on, they're going to find a way to do it. 

I have a friend in Korea who was having some adverse reactions to some birth control she was taking and needed to see a doctor. She asked a Korean woman to go to the doctor with her to try to explain her symptoms to the non-English speaking doctor. When my friend mentioned to the Korean woman that she suspected her medical problems were due to the birth control she was taking the Korean woman completely lost it. She went on a huge rant about how my friend had no business taking birth control and shouldn't be doing something for "some man" and she was disgusted. Keep in mind my friend is in HER FRIGGIN' 30s and has been dating her boyfriend for quite some time and regardless of this information, it's none of the woman's damn business if a woman decides to make the educated decision to be on birth control. Baaaah!

The Korean woman then went on to tell my friend that under no circumstances should she tell the doctor she's on birth control because the doctor will judge her and it will not be a secret, everyone will know that she's on birth control and having sex. Bloody hell! So much for doctor/patient confidentiality.
Unfortunately appearances are everything in this culture, therefore if someone is seen purchasing birth control or condoms violent judgements will be passed to the point of ostracization. It's unfortunate that in an environment where methods of safe sex and birth control are readily available that more men, women, boys and girls are not taught that it's an acceptable way to take care of oneself and lauded for their responsibility.

The Earth is Angry

There have been so many natural disasters lately. I'm convinced there is something to the 2012 end of the world theory.

Perhaps I'm just paying more attention as I've gotten older, but there seems to be a much higher frequency of earthquakes, floods and landslides. Haiti, Australia, New Zealand and now Japan. And then there was the crazy story of birds falling dead from the sky and dead fish floating along lakes and rivers with no plausible explanation. What the hell is going on?
The Earth is angry.
We felt nothing during the Japanese earthquake and we were completely unaffected by the tsunami, however I was anxiously on the phone with my sister and one of my best friends, who both live in Hawaii. I feel pretty damn lucky that I'm pretty well-protected in the peninsula of Korea. And I'm so thankful my sister and my friend and her family were completely unscathed.
I had been planning a trip to Japan just a few days earlier. I had almost booked a ferry to Fukuoka. Aftershocks and fear of radiation poisoning are ongoing and I'm not sure when Japan, if ever, will be back to its' pre-earthquake and tsunami glory days.
One of my co-workers had just returned from taking her GRE in Tokyo within days of the earthquake.
People are still missing and thousands upon thousands have perished from this horrendous natural disaster. It really makes me wonder what's next?
There was some interesting commentary from my students, as well. Most were extremely sympathetic to the Japanese people who died, lost their loved ones and had their entire world turned upside down.
But one student in particular said the Japanese people deserved what happened to them because of what they did to Korea. I understand why there is so much anger toward the Japanese, but I also feel that the people who deserve the anger are no longer with us and innocent people most definitely don't deserve the horrific reality of their lives right now.
I hope the people of Japan can recover and try to rebuild their lives as quickly as possible and know that the rest of the world feels for them, emphathizes with them and is sending nothing but healing and positive thoughts their way.

I'm Not Fat, I'm Just Big Boned!

Sometimes this place does wonders for my ego and sometimes it makes me feel like dirt. One of my students told me that my face was looking thinner. He then told me that I should stay in Korea because then I "would get thin and stay thin."

Thanks, buddy.

I told him that I actually eat much better at home in the States than I do in Korea. My eating habits are pretty atrocious in Korea. I do eat Korean food quite a bit, but not as much as I should. I tend to eat a hell of a lot more salads at home and salads aren't really commonly found in Korea.

My students are convinced that all Americans are obese. Telling them this is not the case falls on deaf ears. Granted, there is a huge percentage of over-weight people in the U.S. and other Western countries, but not everyone lives an unhealthy, sedentary lifestyle.

I often hear, "Oh! Beautiful! Eyes so big!" It's nice to hear the word "beautiful" come out of Koreans mouths when they see me. However, I'm getting quite a complex in this country. I appreciate the kind words, but the "You're too big" comments I really feel could be kept to a minimum. I guess it goes both ways.

Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive and need to just deal with the cultural differences in a more "take it with a grain of salt" manner. I've been here for about a year and a half. I need to just deal with the fact that I'm made larger than Koreans and there's nothing I can do about it.

Perhaps it's time to just accept my "big" body and move on. But that is so much easier said than done, especially when I easily weigh more and am taller than the vast majority of the MEN. At least the light hair and green eyes are a commodity here.

What's Black, White & Silver?

Cars in Korea only come in three colors: white, black and silver. Everywhere I look, there are only white, black and silver cars. I have no idea how Koreans identify their vehicles at car parks and on the street. It kinda blows my mind a little.

Once in a blue moon I will see a red or blue car, but these experiences are very few and far between. I asked my students about this phenomenon. They said Koreans, as a whole, are very modest and don't really like to draw attention to themselves. They think of themselves as one unit, rather than individuals and their vehicles reflect that idea.

My students told me there used to be a law that members of the military were only allowed to purchase Korean-made vehicles, so as to foster country pride and solidarity. That makes sense, but I still feel like a person should have a choice if they're spending their own money.

They also told me they were absolutely forbidden from owning red cars because, statistically speaking, red cars were more dangerous, according to the Korean government. The military didn't want to deal with any of their soldiers getting into accidents. These rules don't apply anymore, but it's still an unspoken rule that it's best to purchase a vehicle from a Korean brand.

I suppose these reasons make sense once one begins to start thinking like a Korean, but still, how does one find their car after a day of shopping???

I Only Have Eyes For You... and You and You and You....

One of my students, ToTo, is a very sensitive soul. He's constantly talking about all the loves and near-loves in his life. Every story he tells somehow either centers around a woman or his quest for women. He's also very emotional. He's never broken down into tears, but one can see that he clearly feels things very deeply.
He once told a story about a woman he dated, whom he loved very much and wanted to marry but his mother didn't approve. Every time it rains, he says, he thinks of this woman.
ToTo has had many loves in his life and he speaks very highly of all his experiences. He was once very popular with the ladies, he said. He has an attractive face, he says, and his smile is magnetic. One woman told him once not to smile at her "because she wouldn't be able to control herself." ToTo also says his crow's feet are also quite captivating. ToTo certainly doesn't lack self-confidence and modesty isn't his strong point, but he's highly entertaining.
Meanwhile, when ToTo is relaying another one of his stories centered around the women in his life, another student, Zealot, whips out his smart phone and manages to find some music to play in the background as a soundtrack for ToTo's stories. While ToTo is near tears about the woman he met for mere seconds at E-Mart, Zealot's smart phone is emitting a love ballad or some sappy elevator music. It sends the rest of us into fits of laughter, but poor ToTo doesn't always find the humor in it.
Needless to say, my students and my classes never allow for a dull moment.

Happiness

My life kicks ass.
And I couldn't be happier doing what I'm doing and living where I'm living. Life is good. I'm living a life others have only absently dreamed about and I couldn't be more pleased with the decisions I've made to get me here.