Don't Go Changin'!

Plastic surgery is very prevalent in South Korea. The Korean culture holds appearances in very high regard and, consequently, many people alter their looks to achieve what they deem as a more attractive look. Looks are extremely important to the Korean people and getting a job often is dependent upon your appearance. Koreans are extremely image-conscious and image truly is everything here.

The most popular form of plastic surgery in South Korea is blepharoplasty, double-eyelid surgery. I'd never even heard of this form of plastic surgery until I came here. Many Koreans have had the procedure performed and many have also had a rhinoplasty, or nose job. They seek a taller, thinner nose and more "Western"-looking eyes.

From the research I've done, over 75 percent of Koreans, both men and women, have had at least one cosmetic surgery procedure done. That pretty much blows my mind.

One of my adult students last year told me that many Koreans equate Western people to power and money, so Koreans then want to emulate that "ideal", thinking it's powerful. She told me that many Koreans change the appearance of their faces to more closely match the European face, with double eyelids, paler skin and higher, thinner noses.

This concept is so strange to me considering most of the people I know think Asians are absolutely stunning, myself included.

Also, many Koreans use pricey, magical facial creams and potions that bleach their skin to make it lighter. Those that can afford it will also have their skin chemically treated to become lighter. One of my male Korean friends had one of those creams and one of my Western friends put it on her face thinking it was regular moisturizer until her skin started burning. She asked my friend what it was and he said it was a bleaching cream. She ran to the sink to wash her face off. The poor girl would have had a translucent face.

In the days of royalty and peasants in Korea, the royalty always had pale skin because they never spent any time outside working. However, the peasant farmers had very dark, tanned skin. Therefore the rich were pale and the poor were dark. Couple that with the idea of pale European-descendants seen as rich and powerful and the population of Korea works their hardest to make their skin as pale as possible.

I've also heard reports from some of my former students that some mothers begin encouraging their middle-school aged children to get plastic surgery and surgical procedures are given as gifts. I find that incredibly disturbing.

Unfortunately the U.S. has an incredibly high number of people that have had cosmetic surgeries also, but it just seems that 75 percent is a ridiculously high number of the population. According to my calculations, about 38 percent of Americans have had a cosmetic surgery procedure. I actually thought it would be a higher number.

The most disturbing report came from one of my former female students. She told me that women at some of the universities in Seoul had sold their organs to buy Chanel, Louis Vuitton, etc. purses and clothing. I certainly can't verify it, but when I asked some other friends about it they said they weren't in the least bit surprised.

Ummm, really?! Cutting up your body so you can buy a bag that will be out of fashion in a matter of months? I just think there's something disturbingly grotesque about that.

**** Even more disturbing: in the photo, the Korean woman is lying on American money, not even Korean Won. ****

Dirty Pooh

I was chatting with some of my students the other day before the start of class and somehow the subject of Winnie the Pooh came up. I can't explain it, random subjects come up like that all the time.
One of the students said, "We think Pooh is dirty."
"You think Winnie the Pooh is dirty," I asked racking my brain for why on Earth they would think a cartoon character beloved by decades of children would be dirty. "Why?"
Their answer: "Because he doesn't wear pants," they said oh-so-seriously.
I threw my head back in a loud guffaw. They all looked at me quizzically unable to figure out what was so funny. I just left it at that and chocked it up to cultural differences.

Ajumma Yoga

I've been doing yoga off and on for a few years by myself, but I've never taken a proper class. A couple of my friends invited me to join them at a yoga class nearby. I was really looking forward to actually being part of a class and having a more consistent yoga schedule.
We had to walk about a half-hour to the class from base and when we got there ajummas were in our midst. I have a love/hate relationship with ajummas.
Technically "ajumma" means married woman, so that could encompass women anywhere between the ages of 18 to 120, but when I refer to an ajumma I speak of the crotchety, haggard old women that give me the stink-eye when I wear a tanktop to the gym, ask if I'm Russian or elbow me out of the way to get in front of the bus ticket window (even though I'm CLEARLY first in line).
Some ajummas can be quite pleasant though. They flash me a toothless grin when I bow and say, "Annyonghaseyo" on the street, give me a gul (tangerine) if they have an extra or pat my leg on a long bus ride and ask if I'm cold. At least I think that's what she said...
I wasn't sure how us meegooks would be received at the yoga class. But it was just good fun!
There were about 14 ajummas and 2 ajoshies (old men, but technically means "uncle") and all of them were dressed in whatever they wore that day. The ajoshies were wearing suits. Considering that Koreans wear special gym outfits and special hiking outfits I thought for sure there would be a special yoga outfit. Perhaps "day-wear" is the "yoga-wear" in Korea.
The class started simple enough. The instructor was obviously speaking in Korean so I made sure to watch the ajumaa next to me to figure out the cues for what I needed to do. I could hear giggles in the back row when poses were difficult and my friends and I snickered at each other when we weren't quite as flexible as we needed to be to get the poses correctly. At least everyone appeared to have a good sense of humor.
Soon enough it was dance time! I had no idea yoga classes consisted of dance time! The instructor cranked the K-Pop and led us on a finely choreographed routine that got the ajummas and ajoshies rockin' their hips. I could not stifle the laughter when I watched the two ajoshies in front of me attempting to swivel their hips despite their severe lack of rhythm, but the serious looks of determination and concentration on their faces made me question what they really thought their bodies were doing.
Then we got to some sort of expressive, interpretive dancing mode and I think the ajoshies thought they were trees swaying in the wind. It was kind of nice to see the usually uptight ajoshi just flowing with the music and "taaayin' in the winnn." But I still couldn't help but giggle.

Korea, P.S. I love you

I'm in an extended love affair with the people of Korea.
I've experienced unbelievable levels of kindness in this country. Not being in a constant state of depression and vile hatred for another (pseudo) human being has allowed me to really see and experience this home so far away. The Korean people have shown me unbelievable and unceasing generosity and benevolence. It's a beautiful new sort of awakening.
Last year there were glimpses of this deeply needed grace bestowed upon me in many unlikely places; at the bus stop, at an outdoor food vendor, in a simple "annyonghaseyo" on the street. Perhaps it was around me more than I knew, but I was unable to get passed the fog my mind and eyes were in. It's amazing how one thing can change your perception of your entire reality.
I've had so many positive experiences with people in Korea. I've crossed some paths with truly beautiful people. While I was at the bus station, I met a young woman who was studying English at a local university and she saw that I was obviously a foreigner and she gave me a huge smile and asked where I was from. That happens frequently, people will approach me to strike up a conversation to practice their English. She was so sweet and asked me many questions about myself and what I was doing in Korea and what I thought of my experience so far. She apologized for her poor English skills. I told her her English was fantastic and to not get discouraged.
She was waiting for a bus to Seoul and the bus had arrived, but I still had about 30 more minutes before my bus arrived. I had noticed that she had made a stop at the vending machine before she came over to talk to me. As she was getting on her bus she handed me a can of aloe juice. I'm almost positive that wasn't originally meant for me, but she insisted I take it. I felt bad about taking her bus-time drink, but she was adament about giving me a gift as a thank you for talking to her and being patient with her English skills. I thanked her and she turned back from the bus steps, gave me a wave and smile goodbye.
While I was waiting for another bus to some other random location one of the bus drivers had some time between his routes and he decided to chat with me. He asked the standard questions: Where are you from? How long have you been here? What do you do? Do you like Korea? And he bought me some tea and sat with me while I waited for my bus. Then when my bus did finally arrive he talked to the bus driver and both bus drivers put my luggage in the storage area under the bus for me and made sure I got to my correct seat on the bus. Then the man waved goodbye and wished me a safe journey.
I don't think South Korea is the only place where there are kind people willing to help others, but I'm convinced there is a concentration of kind people in this country. I have stories of being elbowed by ajummas, but despite all the crappy things I've seen and experienced here, it still blows me away that there is so much kindness here, too.
I get constant invitations for dinners, lunches and rides to various places. If I need help with anything, I know help is just a phonecall away. It's like everyone (well, not everyone) is a freaking ambassador for the country. It's insane.
I feel blessed to cross paths with so many beautiful people and I'm so lucky to still be here.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ahhhhhhh, it's the start of a new year, a new beginning! Happy 2011, everyone!

I'm very much looking forward to this fresh, shiny, new year. It's going to be fabulous!!

Last year was a little bumpy, a wee bit rough. I think it was that way for many people though.

This year is the year of the rabbit. Those born in the year of the rabbit are said to be creative, compassionate and sensitive. Rabbits are friendly, outgoing and prefer the company of others. Although I was not born in the year of the rabbit, I was born in the year of the rooster, I'm hoping to possess some of the rabbit's qualities in the coming year.

I'm ready for all that 2011 will bring me and I hope to walk through this next year with a clarity of mind and an openness that will allow me to learn much and gather all the knowledge and experience I can from the Korean culture and people I cross paths with.

I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish during my stay in Korea. Although I didn't quite check off the entire list by the end of my first year, I'm hoping to figure a few more things out by the end of my stay here in the Land of the Morning Calm.

I'm looking forward to what 2011 has in store for me and those I'm lucky to have in my life.

Happy New Year!

Shopping in Korea: A Contact Sport

I hate, HATE, H-A-T-E shopping in Korea. It's most definitely an exercise in futility and I usually end up giving up before I actually get what I need.

In shopping for clothing, there is the most blatant concept of nothing fitting me. I can usually find shirts, but I don't even try to find pants or bottoms of any kind that will fit my extra-long length. I'm 5'11" or 180 cm; I'm much taller than most Korean women. I pretty much don't shop for clothing in this country.

There is also the joy of grocery shopping in Korea. When I lived in Dangjin, I despised when I would run out of necessary foods and I would try to piece together a meal with whatever I had left in my apartment, because I just did not want to deal with the circus of being a foreigner shopping for food.

The grocery store I would frequent in Dangjin was pretty large, but I was still stared at and followed. I wish I could say I'm used to being stared at by now considering I've been in Korea for over a year, but I'm not. I wish that was different, but I'm still not comfortable with being stared at. It doesn't bother me when children stare at me, but when full-grown adults stare at me I want to smack the teeth out of their head.

I usually try to ignore it, but as of late I just stare back and most of them feel uncomfortable and awkwardly look away until they think I'm not staring at them anymore. Then when they think it's safe to stare at me again they look back at me and realize I'm still staring at them. This continues for quite awhile. It's been a fun little game for me, especially on the bus. I often wonder if the people who've been staring at me and hurriedly exit the bus are getting off at their actual stop or are just trying to get away from me because I won't stop staring at them. I'd like to think I've cured them from staring at other foreigners they encounter. It's wishful thinking, I know, but I'd like to think I've made a difference.

When I would be shopping in Dangjin, the store clerks would follow me around the store. They would pretend to straighten the shelves, but interestingly enough the only products that needed straightening were those that were closest to me. Coincidence? I wasn't sure if they thought I was going to try to steal something because I was a shady foreigner or if they were trying to be super duper helpful. Also, when I would be in the store for a few minutes I would notice the music on the store's loud speakers would change to English music. I even heard Michael Franti a couple times! I can't imagine they would play English-language music just for one foreigner, but I did notice the change quite a few times. I really appreciated hearing Michael Franti , or another American musician I knew, but it definitely wasn't necessary.

I was told from a friend about a foreign teacher that came to the Dangjin area a few years ago, she was one of the first foreign English teachers in the area. When she went grocery shopping she would have clerks and shoppers alike follow her around the store and look in her cart to see what she was buying. Within a couple weeks of her arriving in town, she began to notice signs under all the products she normally purchased. She asked her co-teacher what the signs said and she was told the signs said, "The foreigner buys this." She came unglued and threw a fit that there were signs at the grocery store broadcasting what she was buying.

I absolutely hate shopping in department stores. It's the custom in Korea to immediately greet a shopper and latch onto their side and follow them throughout the department. Obviously there is a language barrier, which makes communicating difficult but sales associates continue to follow you around and shove things in your face telling you to buy them. It's really overwhelming to be followed around incessantly and have things shoved in your face repeatedly. I would much rather prefer to be left alone and be allowed to find things on my own. If I need help, I will come to you kind and helpful sales person. It makes shopping a suffocating and claustrophic experience and needless to say, I don't spend much time in Korea shopping.

Skinship

Koreans are very affectionate people.
Obviously the young children hug and hold hands, but adults are very affectionate, too. It reminds me of being on the playground when I was a young girl in elementary school and holding hands with my girlfriends.
At what age does this stop? I don't remember. But in Korea it doesn't really stop. I will walk down the street and see men arm-in-arm or with their arms draped over another's shoulders.
They have a word here, "Skinship." It means the relationship one builds when affection is shown between people. My friends' hogwan directors said "Skinship" is very important in building trusting relationships with children. If a foreign teacher hugs, tickles or strokes a childs hair often, then that child will be more trusting, loving and affectionate in return. It's a very important aspect of Korean culture.
On the flip-side of that is the adversely opposite way Korean men and women view affection between the sexes once they've reached a certain age. I consider myself a very affectionate person, I always hug and touch my friends, both male and female. Koreans see this as a problem. Koreans don't believe men and women can just be friends, there must be a romantic relationship if men and women touch in any way. I have many male friends and I'm constantly asked if the men in my pictures or my male friends in Korea are my boyfriend. I try to explain that in the Western cultures it's very common for men and women to be just friends. This is a concept Koreans don't understand.
I've explained this particular cultural difference until I was blue in the face and it's like communicating with a brick wall. It's just something Korean people can't fathom.
I hugged my male adult students on their last day at the Foreign Language Institute and I could tell that many of them were very uncomfortable with the idea of hugging a female, especially a teacher, but some were much more comfortable with it and gave me bear hugs.
I've seen my adult male students, who are "tough military men," hug, lay their heads on each other's shoulders and otherwise touch often, and then when I talk to Koreans about homosexuality they say the "idea" is something that doesn't occur in Korea. I'm not saying that all men that show affection to each other are gay, but I just find it so interesting that "homosexuality does not exist" in South Korea.
A few of my foreign friends here in Korea are gay and one of the Korean teachers at one of the schools knows one of the foreign teachers is gay. The Korean teacher said he felt so bad for the foreign teacher because "their are no gay people in Korea and he must be so lonely." We made sure to inform the Korean teacher (after we stopped laughing) that this foreign teacher got much more play than most of us in Korea and there are MOST DEFINITELY gay Korean people in Korea. Just because the culture as a whole refuses to acknowledge homosexuality, doesn't mean it doesn't exist and thrive.