Birth Control Mumbo Jumbo

The issue of reproductive rights and women's sexuality in South Korea is a very interesting subject.

I feel like I say this on pretty much a daily basis, but Korea is such a place of contradictions. Women can buy birth control pills over-the-counter in Korea and it's ridiculously cheap; it's about $6 for a month's supply. However, buying birth control creates such a stigma and looks of complete disgust that Korean women don't purchase the very necessary and beyond-words-helpful drug.

Therefore, birth control pills are not used and the use of condoms in this country is pretty much non-existant from what I've been told. The use of DVD-bangs (movie rooms and "bang" is pronounced "bong" in Korean, although "bang" works quite well in this particular case) are widely used as a nice little home-away-from-home when kids these days go out for a quick date night while still living with mom and dad.

Consequently, the percentage of unplanned pregnancies, according to 1999 statistics, is about 25 percent.

I couldn't find any updated statistics of abortions in South Korea following 1999. According to the Truth and Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea website, as of July 8, 2009 abortion is allowed in South Korea up to 24 weeks of pregnancy only in these cases: sexual assault or incest, if there is a danger to the mother's health, if there is a hereditary disease in the family or a contagious disease, such as AIDs or hepatitis. All other abortions are illegal.

Hmmm, given these facts I would think buying birth control by a young woman or females of certain ages would be a reason to celebrate. These women would be making the conscious decision to not get knocked up and, as far as I'm concerned, that's a damn good decision. I realize the obvious: perhaps people should not be having sex? But we all know that's not ever going to happen no matter who you are or which oppresive environment you live in. If people want to get it on, they're going to find a way to do it. 

I have a friend in Korea who was having some adverse reactions to some birth control she was taking and needed to see a doctor. She asked a Korean woman to go to the doctor with her to try to explain her symptoms to the non-English speaking doctor. When my friend mentioned to the Korean woman that she suspected her medical problems were due to the birth control she was taking the Korean woman completely lost it. She went on a huge rant about how my friend had no business taking birth control and shouldn't be doing something for "some man" and she was disgusted. Keep in mind my friend is in HER FRIGGIN' 30s and has been dating her boyfriend for quite some time and regardless of this information, it's none of the woman's damn business if a woman decides to make the educated decision to be on birth control. Baaaah!

The Korean woman then went on to tell my friend that under no circumstances should she tell the doctor she's on birth control because the doctor will judge her and it will not be a secret, everyone will know that she's on birth control and having sex. Bloody hell! So much for doctor/patient confidentiality.
Unfortunately appearances are everything in this culture, therefore if someone is seen purchasing birth control or condoms violent judgements will be passed to the point of ostracization. It's unfortunate that in an environment where methods of safe sex and birth control are readily available that more men, women, boys and girls are not taught that it's an acceptable way to take care of oneself and lauded for their responsibility.

The Earth is Angry

There have been so many natural disasters lately. I'm convinced there is something to the 2012 end of the world theory.

Perhaps I'm just paying more attention as I've gotten older, but there seems to be a much higher frequency of earthquakes, floods and landslides. Haiti, Australia, New Zealand and now Japan. And then there was the crazy story of birds falling dead from the sky and dead fish floating along lakes and rivers with no plausible explanation. What the hell is going on?
The Earth is angry.
We felt nothing during the Japanese earthquake and we were completely unaffected by the tsunami, however I was anxiously on the phone with my sister and one of my best friends, who both live in Hawaii. I feel pretty damn lucky that I'm pretty well-protected in the peninsula of Korea. And I'm so thankful my sister and my friend and her family were completely unscathed.
I had been planning a trip to Japan just a few days earlier. I had almost booked a ferry to Fukuoka. Aftershocks and fear of radiation poisoning are ongoing and I'm not sure when Japan, if ever, will be back to its' pre-earthquake and tsunami glory days.
One of my co-workers had just returned from taking her GRE in Tokyo within days of the earthquake.
People are still missing and thousands upon thousands have perished from this horrendous natural disaster. It really makes me wonder what's next?
There was some interesting commentary from my students, as well. Most were extremely sympathetic to the Japanese people who died, lost their loved ones and had their entire world turned upside down.
But one student in particular said the Japanese people deserved what happened to them because of what they did to Korea. I understand why there is so much anger toward the Japanese, but I also feel that the people who deserve the anger are no longer with us and innocent people most definitely don't deserve the horrific reality of their lives right now.
I hope the people of Japan can recover and try to rebuild their lives as quickly as possible and know that the rest of the world feels for them, emphathizes with them and is sending nothing but healing and positive thoughts their way.

I'm Not Fat, I'm Just Big Boned!

Sometimes this place does wonders for my ego and sometimes it makes me feel like dirt. One of my students told me that my face was looking thinner. He then told me that I should stay in Korea because then I "would get thin and stay thin."

Thanks, buddy.

I told him that I actually eat much better at home in the States than I do in Korea. My eating habits are pretty atrocious in Korea. I do eat Korean food quite a bit, but not as much as I should. I tend to eat a hell of a lot more salads at home and salads aren't really commonly found in Korea.

My students are convinced that all Americans are obese. Telling them this is not the case falls on deaf ears. Granted, there is a huge percentage of over-weight people in the U.S. and other Western countries, but not everyone lives an unhealthy, sedentary lifestyle.

I often hear, "Oh! Beautiful! Eyes so big!" It's nice to hear the word "beautiful" come out of Koreans mouths when they see me. However, I'm getting quite a complex in this country. I appreciate the kind words, but the "You're too big" comments I really feel could be kept to a minimum. I guess it goes both ways.

Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive and need to just deal with the cultural differences in a more "take it with a grain of salt" manner. I've been here for about a year and a half. I need to just deal with the fact that I'm made larger than Koreans and there's nothing I can do about it.

Perhaps it's time to just accept my "big" body and move on. But that is so much easier said than done, especially when I easily weigh more and am taller than the vast majority of the MEN. At least the light hair and green eyes are a commodity here.

What's Black, White & Silver?

Cars in Korea only come in three colors: white, black and silver. Everywhere I look, there are only white, black and silver cars. I have no idea how Koreans identify their vehicles at car parks and on the street. It kinda blows my mind a little.

Once in a blue moon I will see a red or blue car, but these experiences are very few and far between. I asked my students about this phenomenon. They said Koreans, as a whole, are very modest and don't really like to draw attention to themselves. They think of themselves as one unit, rather than individuals and their vehicles reflect that idea.

My students told me there used to be a law that members of the military were only allowed to purchase Korean-made vehicles, so as to foster country pride and solidarity. That makes sense, but I still feel like a person should have a choice if they're spending their own money.

They also told me they were absolutely forbidden from owning red cars because, statistically speaking, red cars were more dangerous, according to the Korean government. The military didn't want to deal with any of their soldiers getting into accidents. These rules don't apply anymore, but it's still an unspoken rule that it's best to purchase a vehicle from a Korean brand.

I suppose these reasons make sense once one begins to start thinking like a Korean, but still, how does one find their car after a day of shopping???

I Only Have Eyes For You... and You and You and You....

One of my students, ToTo, is a very sensitive soul. He's constantly talking about all the loves and near-loves in his life. Every story he tells somehow either centers around a woman or his quest for women. He's also very emotional. He's never broken down into tears, but one can see that he clearly feels things very deeply.
He once told a story about a woman he dated, whom he loved very much and wanted to marry but his mother didn't approve. Every time it rains, he says, he thinks of this woman.
ToTo has had many loves in his life and he speaks very highly of all his experiences. He was once very popular with the ladies, he said. He has an attractive face, he says, and his smile is magnetic. One woman told him once not to smile at her "because she wouldn't be able to control herself." ToTo also says his crow's feet are also quite captivating. ToTo certainly doesn't lack self-confidence and modesty isn't his strong point, but he's highly entertaining.
Meanwhile, when ToTo is relaying another one of his stories centered around the women in his life, another student, Zealot, whips out his smart phone and manages to find some music to play in the background as a soundtrack for ToTo's stories. While ToTo is near tears about the woman he met for mere seconds at E-Mart, Zealot's smart phone is emitting a love ballad or some sappy elevator music. It sends the rest of us into fits of laughter, but poor ToTo doesn't always find the humor in it.
Needless to say, my students and my classes never allow for a dull moment.

Happiness

My life kicks ass.
And I couldn't be happier doing what I'm doing and living where I'm living. Life is good. I'm living a life others have only absently dreamed about and I couldn't be more pleased with the decisions I've made to get me here.

Don't Go Changin'!

Plastic surgery is very prevalent in South Korea. The Korean culture holds appearances in very high regard and, consequently, many people alter their looks to achieve what they deem as a more attractive look. Looks are extremely important to the Korean people and getting a job often is dependent upon your appearance. Koreans are extremely image-conscious and image truly is everything here.

The most popular form of plastic surgery in South Korea is blepharoplasty, double-eyelid surgery. I'd never even heard of this form of plastic surgery until I came here. Many Koreans have had the procedure performed and many have also had a rhinoplasty, or nose job. They seek a taller, thinner nose and more "Western"-looking eyes.

From the research I've done, over 75 percent of Koreans, both men and women, have had at least one cosmetic surgery procedure done. That pretty much blows my mind.

One of my adult students last year told me that many Koreans equate Western people to power and money, so Koreans then want to emulate that "ideal", thinking it's powerful. She told me that many Koreans change the appearance of their faces to more closely match the European face, with double eyelids, paler skin and higher, thinner noses.

This concept is so strange to me considering most of the people I know think Asians are absolutely stunning, myself included.

Also, many Koreans use pricey, magical facial creams and potions that bleach their skin to make it lighter. Those that can afford it will also have their skin chemically treated to become lighter. One of my male Korean friends had one of those creams and one of my Western friends put it on her face thinking it was regular moisturizer until her skin started burning. She asked my friend what it was and he said it was a bleaching cream. She ran to the sink to wash her face off. The poor girl would have had a translucent face.

In the days of royalty and peasants in Korea, the royalty always had pale skin because they never spent any time outside working. However, the peasant farmers had very dark, tanned skin. Therefore the rich were pale and the poor were dark. Couple that with the idea of pale European-descendants seen as rich and powerful and the population of Korea works their hardest to make their skin as pale as possible.

I've also heard reports from some of my former students that some mothers begin encouraging their middle-school aged children to get plastic surgery and surgical procedures are given as gifts. I find that incredibly disturbing.

Unfortunately the U.S. has an incredibly high number of people that have had cosmetic surgeries also, but it just seems that 75 percent is a ridiculously high number of the population. According to my calculations, about 38 percent of Americans have had a cosmetic surgery procedure. I actually thought it would be a higher number.

The most disturbing report came from one of my former female students. She told me that women at some of the universities in Seoul had sold their organs to buy Chanel, Louis Vuitton, etc. purses and clothing. I certainly can't verify it, but when I asked some other friends about it they said they weren't in the least bit surprised.

Ummm, really?! Cutting up your body so you can buy a bag that will be out of fashion in a matter of months? I just think there's something disturbingly grotesque about that.

**** Even more disturbing: in the photo, the Korean woman is lying on American money, not even Korean Won. ****