Getting Hitched in Korea

In Korea, a person is not considered an adult until they're married and a person lives with their parents until they get married. While living at home, parents do absolutely everything for their children: cooking, cleaning, paying for everything. I'm still not sure how this actually prepares a person for adulthood, but the Koreans appear to swear by it.
One of my current students doesn't eat unless his wife makes him food. He said his daughter is sick at the moment, so his wife has been busy tending to his sick daughter and therefore, he's missed breakfast. I ask him why he doesn't feed himself. He said he doesn't know how. The man is 34 years old. Bloody hell. What would he do if his mother and wife were not around to take care of his every need?
The marrying age for women is usually 24-28. An unmarried woman over the age of 29 is disastrous and sets up a woman for certain perpetual solitude. However, 29 is considered to be a bad age to get married. Older or more traditional Koreans say bad things happen at the age of 29. According to one of my former students, who had to rush to get married before she turned 29, Koreans who are 29 may lose their money, get in an accident or have bad health, so marriage is discouraged at that age.
I'm constantly asked how old I am. Age is extremely important in this culture. It allows each in the party to see where they stand with each other and how they're supposed to talk to and treat each other. When my students, or someone I'm just meeting, ask how old I am, find out I'm 29 in Western age and 31 in Korean age, they always ask if I'm married. When I tell them I'm not, they gasp and ask why not.
Marriage, more often than not, seems to be a business deal in Korea. Blind date set-ups are the way to meet and get married in Korea. Most married people I've met have met there spouses in this manner. Many of those who meet, get engaged and then married do this entire process within a matter of months, too. It's actually quite remarkable how fast Koreans can pull a wedding together.
Extreme importance is placed on a potential spouses occupation and the status of the persons family. I was told when students are going through school there are posters on the walls of the school telling girls to study hard so they can go to a good university and meet a handsome and successful man, get married and have high prestige. Money is everything, but that's true of most cultures it seems.
Once a woman gets married and gets pregnant, she is automatically expected to quit her job. Women stay home with their children while men go to work. In many cases, men work in different cities from where their family lives. So, frequently, families are together on the weekends and the fathers go back to work during the week.
I had one student recently go on at length about how it's important that he be the head of the household, because that's what the Bible said to do. He said he's in charge and, in the beginning of their marriage, his wife tried to be head of the household, but he showed her the Bible and "the Bible said women need to do what men say." So if she yells, he continued about his wife, she will apologize and say she wants to be more like the women in the Bible.
"I think it's the natural way of things and I will teach my daughters to be like that with their husbands, too," he said.
It took everything in my power to keep my mouth shut.
Another student in that same class said there is a Korean proverb that states: if a woman is allowed to speak her mind than the family will fail.
Ha! Wow.
I think it's pretty safe to say I won't be marrying any Koreans.

Simmer Down, Boys.

I work with four other foreign teachers on base. There is one man, three other female teachers and me. We were recently told we need to be careful how we dress on base. None of us dress inappropriately. We wear shirts covering our shoulders, our boobs are always covered and skirts definitely go past our knees. I would think this would all be considered kosher.
However, one of our Korean co-workers said he knows none of us dress scandalously, but just put ourselves in the shoes of the soldiers. He said just imagine being stuck on a military base for excessive amounts of time and not being able to socialize or interact with women and then we, the Western women, waltz up and it makes the men a little crazy. Haha! Poor little guys.
The Korean co-worker went on to explain that all of us Western teachers are "well-endowed" and Korean men aren't used to being around such, uhhh, voluptousness. Apparently some of the soldiers were marching by when we were walking to school and it caused quite a stir among the boys. There was tripping and rubbernecking, which caused the superiors to get a little ticked off.
We've been told that the wives on base are also having a problem with the way we look. I'm not entirely sure what us Western chicks can do about this. I'm thinking I should duct tape my boobs to my chest and maybe they can tunnel us a passageway from our apartments to the school, so we don't actually have to be seen by anyone.
The usage of toilet paper has increased on base, we were informed. I guess the boys have been spending some quality time with, ahem, themselves. Life in Korea has been oh-so-interesting.
I frequently go running outside on base because I'm not allowed to use the gyms on base because I'm a woman. I run in tank tops because it's bloody hot and humid here. My Korean co-worker asked that I not run during the day and, instead, run at night so as not to cause a ruckus among the soldiers and get them over-excited. I couldn't help but laugh at his request, the ridiculousness of it all is so comical to me. But obviously I will abide, I don't want anymore ogling than I already get and I certainly don't want an even more severe shortage of toilet paper on base.

Best students in the world

I have the best students in the world.

They take care of me when I'm sick; calling me to check on me, driving to the store to buy me medicine and being overall very concerned for my well-being.

They make me laugh on a regular basis and want to hang out as frequently as possible.

I'm, at times, a horrific insomniac and, unfortunately, they can always tell when I haven't slept well the previous evening. They are so concerned for me and offer remedies for my sleep malady. I tell them this is something I've been dealing with forever and I'll be fine. It's always worse when I have something on my mind and need to get through or process something. They don't want to hear any of my excuses.

One of my students recently told me that my heart is in my brain and I feel things deeply and passionately and that's why I can't sleep.
I've had another student email me audio tracks he uses when he can't sleep. Apparently my sleeping habits are of great concern to my students, but it's so sweet that they want so desperately to help me.
I know no matter what my problem I can always contact my former or current students and they will drop everything to help me. It's a very comforting feeling, especially being so far from home.
One student, who is heading to the U.S. for one year, told me that we must keep in touch with each other because when his son is in high school or university (his son is currently 4 years old) he wants his son to meet me and do a homestay with me. He told me he would love me to show his son "My America." He said he believed his son would be well-taken care of and truly shown what is great about America. Awwww! I told him I would love that and I was so excited, then I rattled off all the cool things I would show him and I got really excited. Now I have to wait at least a dozen years for his son to become old enough.


Dinner with some of my students!

 It's impossible to explain the people of Korea and their culture in short blog excerpts, but they truly are beautiful, wonderful, warm people. They want so desperately to help and make one feel welcome and learn about the lives of foreigners. They can be so helpful and the way my Korean friends have explained Korean culture to me makes me truly appreciate their world, of which I've only scratched the surface.